Andy Rooney’s 31 Rules of Life

Andy Rooney
Andy Rooney's rules to live by.
/ May 4, 2016

Rules of Life by legendary Andy Rooney

  1. All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.
  2. Any line you choose to stand in during your life will usually turn out to be the one that moves the slowest.
  3. Anything you look for in the Yellow Pages will not be listed in the category you first try to find it under. Start with the second. Keep in mind cars are under A for “automobiles.”
  4. Apologizing for doing something wrong is nowhere near as good as doing it right in the first place.
  5. Don’t pin much hope on the mail, and when the phone rings, don’t expect anything wonderful from that, either.
  6. Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
  7. Enthusiasm on the job gets you further than education or brains.
  8. Every so often you ought to do something dangerous. It doesn’t have to be physical.
  9. Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
  10. Hoping and praying are easier but do not produce as good results as hard work.
  11. If everyone knew the whole truth about everything, it would be a better world.
  12. If you think you may possibly have forgotten something, there is no doubt about it. You’ve forgotten something.
  13. If you want something you can’t have, it is usually best to change what you want.
  14. If you wonder what anyone thinks of you, consider what you think of them.
  15. It is impossible to feel sorry for everyone who deserves being felt sorry for.
  16. Money is not the root of all evil.
  17. New developments in science and new inventions in industry don’t usually improve our lives much; the most we can hope is that they’ll help us stay even.
  18. Not everyone has a right to his own opinion. If he doesn’t know the facts, his opinion doesn’t count.
  19. Not many of us are able to change our lives on purpose; we are all permanent victims of the way we are, but we should proceed as though this were not true.
  20. One of the best things about life is that we are happy more than we are unhappy.
  21. Patience is a virtue. Impatience is a virtue, too.
  22. Patriotism is only an admirable trait when the person who has a lot of it lives in the same country you do.
  23. The best things in life are not free, they’re expensive. Good health is an example.
  24. The model you own is the only one they ever had that trouble with.
  25. The only way to live is as though there were an answer to every problem although there isn’t.
  26. The people who write poetry are no smarter than the rest of us, and don’t let them make you think they are.
  27. The same things keep happening to the same people.
  28. When you buy something, it’s always a seller’s market. When you sell something, it’s always a buyer’s market.
  29. Wherever you go for whatever reason, it will turn out you should have been there last week.
  30. You may be wrong.
  31. You should be careful about when to go to all the trouble it takes to be different.

Now read Andy Rooney’s opinion on life.